Ka-ching Goes The Royal Wedding!

It wouldn’t be a Royal Wedding without the rampant consumerism that accompanies these types of events.  Of course, the official wedding website would never include anything as tacky as souvenirs for sale, even the more tasteful ones like the Wedgwood china plate shown below.

Or how about these lovely champagne flutes that William and Kate could use to toast their happiness?  After all, they are made of crystal.

No?  Not tacky enough?  Then lets move on to the good stuff – the kind of souvenir that makes your eyes pop out of your head.  But lets start off slow with just the moderately tacky stuff, like this replica of Kate Middleton’s engagement ring.

Personal aside here:  my dad bought my stepmother one of these for their anniversary, and I have to say my eyes did pop a bit when I saw it.  It was incredibly lifelike and incredibly…big.  To my mind, the size did almost tip it over into the arena of the vulgar but, then again, it was a knockoff.  The real thing probably looks way better.  At least I hope so.

Maybe we’re still walking too much on the classy side of the street, so let’s see what else a not very discriminating shopper could pick up to celebrate the royal nuptials.  How about these souvenir teabags?  They’re not only tacky, they’re delicious!

And how’s this for the ultimate in tacky?  A royal wedding toilet – or loo – seat.

Cue up all the jokes about a royal flush, people!

But enough of the bathroom humor.  Weddings are about romance, after all, and we all know romance can lead to certain things, like…do I really need to spell it out?  Those of you who have been bitten by the love bug can also participate in the wedding day festivities with your very own royal condoms.

Finally!  A good reason to lie back and think of England.

Had enough?  Starting to feel slightly quesy?  I have just the thing for you – Royal Wedding vomit bags, done up by designer Lydia Leith.

Isn’t it great that there’s something for everyone?  And, yes.  There’s even an app for that – souvenir wedding apps, that is.

I have to admit that I’m not immune to Royal Wedding-itis.  When Prince Charles and Diana married, I scored a lovely biscuit tin that, sadly, went missing after several years.  But my favorite souvenir was the Charles and Di slippers, much like the ones pictured below.

Alas, they went missing during one of my graduate school moves, much to my everlasting dismay.  But I take heart in the fact that Charles’s son and his fiance have spawned more than enough godawful souvenirs to fill the void.